


Hold On

by aprettyboy



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, I swear theres a happy ending, M/M, listen to sad music while reading for maximum sadness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:22:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26757952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aprettyboy/pseuds/aprettyboy
Summary: Hello Everyone !! I have returned back to fic writing because Sylvain and Felix have made me. Their ship is too powerful. But I do plan for this to be a series of chapters, maybe 4-5. Yes there is angst in the beginning but there will be more happiness in the end.Summary:  Felix has been gone for 100 days after disappearing in one of their most recent battles and Sylvain absolutely will not accept the fact that Felix is dead because he believes that Felix would never break their promise. That if they died then it would be together.....not when Sylvain wasn't near him and incapable of helping him.
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius & Sylvain Jose Gautier, Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Comments: 8
Kudos: 17





	1. Again and Again

_ Again and Again, I’ll search for your presence _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Again and Again, I’ll yearn for your touch _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Again and Again, Without you its unpleasant _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Again and Again...Again and Again Felix _

_ For you, I’ll do it again and again. _

  
  


Sylvain sat down in his desk as the blue velvet box was opened to reveal a silver and shiny ring.

This ring wasn’t just any ring and he chose it with great care. It was going to symbolize all that he had put in words over the years and solidify many more promises that Sylvain would make sure were never broken. 

The door opened and Sylvain quickly clasped it shut, moving the box behind the vase on his desk.

  
  
“Margrave Gautier, the search party has found nothing…”, the soldier waited a bit before he spoke again,” yet again. Sir Frauldarius has yet to be found. Sir, if I may interject-”, the soldier stopped, gulping as he saw the stare from the Margrave. 

Despite this, he continued,”Sir. It has been 100 days and you are nearly close to exhausting your resources looking for him. If he was out there then by now he’s…”, the soldier bit his lip and looked away before speaking his last word.

Sylvain had his hands folded and spoke,” he’s what? Finish your sentence.”

The soldier hesitantly looked back at Sylvain and spoke,” dead, sir. Theres no way he could have survived such a fall let alone this long to be found. Why do you try so hard? I understand who he was but-”, the soldier stopped. This time, he also flinched a little bit as Sylvain slammed his fist down on the table.

  
  
“I’ll send out another search party in a month.”

  
  
“Sir, we cant just-”, the soldier tried to dispute the orders given but Sylvain raised his voice even louder.

  
“That  _ wasnt  _ a question. You will send out another search party in a month,” Sylvain said, his eyes glancing to the ring on his desk, then back at the man.

“Sir. Even his own kingdom has mourned his own death, why can’t you just give up,” he asked, clearly growing increasingly more frustrated for the Margrave exhausting his resources because everyone, but the man himself, had accepted the death of Felix.    
  
Sylvain pushed himself out of his desk and yelled his answer out at him,” Because he wouldn’t give up on me ! I will search for him 100 days more and more ! I dont want hear that from-”   
  
  
“SYLVAIN,” a familiar voice rang out, completely stopping Sylvain from going on an angry rampage.   
  
Ingrid walked in, all the other soldiers making way for her, then turned around to them. She politely bowed and spoke,” you guys have had a long journey. I will talk to Margrave Gautier. A Feast and bath has been prepared for you, apologies for his behavior.”   
  
Ingrid had politely asked them to leave and they trusted her to have more of a head on her shoulders now than the man behind them. The top soldier apologized for the noise, then directed everyone out.   
  
She walked over to close the door, sighing as it was fully shut.

  
“Sylvain…”, she said softly, turning around as she placed one curled up hand over her heart, looking at him with worry in her eyes.   
  
“They dont have to be gone and the words of the dead don’t have to be used. He can still live inside your heart. _ Please _ , this will tear you apart,” with each word, Ingrid got closer to the man who was currently turned around, looking out the window, his eyes empty. Rather, it was already tearing the man apart. Ingrid has already lost Felix and she was terrified of losing Sylvain now.   
  
Ingrid walks closer and grabs his hand, holding it gently, now staring at nothing with him.   
  
“Talk to me, Sylvain. Don’t keep it all in.”   
  
  
Sylvain….he had faded. Sleepless nights. Nightmares. Maybe every once in a while tortuous good dreams that were even more painful when he realized it was all a dream and had to face reality without him again. It was like he had lost all the color in his life the day he was gone. His view of the world was now bleak. Black and white. Mundane.  _ Meaningless.  _

There was no way Sylvain could give up. They made a promise...that if they were to ever die that they would die together. Maybe it was made as kids but Felix never broke promises, at least not to Sylvain. Sylvain didn’t think he would break this one. No, he thought that Felix’s will was much stronger than the wheel of fate. That the bond they had sculpted and molded over the years was strong enough to thwart any outside force that wanted to get in the way of it. 

And they  _ remade _ that promise.

The day Sylvain finally confessed his love and sealed the deal with something much more stronger than two pinkies intertwining. As he finally held Felix, kissed him on the lips, all over his body, and connected their bodies. Sylvain was trying so desperately to show Felix how much he was in love with him. The promise was made over and over because Sylvain couldn’t live without Felix.

  
  
He made them promise while Sylvain pressed a 100 kisses to his lips. 100 times. A kiss for each time. A promise made each time.    
  
On the 100th time, Sylvain made sure to give Felix so much love that his body would never forget the promise. That Felix would never forget the way Sylvain tenderly held his body. That Felix would never forget the touch of the man that would love him till the end of time and love absolutely no one else. 

  
  
“ _ I love you Felix, I’ll always love you.”  _

_ “I love you Sylvain...should I repeat that 100 times as well.” _

_ Another kiss was placed upon his lips before they slept that night,” No, my love. It’s a phrase you should repeat till the end of both our times.” _ _   
  
_

  
  


He missed him so much. Their banter. The way he would glare at Sylvain after his flirtatious words. He missed how he could crawl into Felix’s bed and after a couple of complaints the other would let Sylvain hold him against his chest as they fell asleep till the morning. Sylvain missed the days he would be able to come and run his hands through Felix’s long hair that he cherished so much. How he would plead for Felix to let him brush and put it in a ponytail for him. He missed the way he would get flustered at Sylvain’s many proclamations of love from time to time, never getting used to it. He missed  **everything.** Even down to the littlest detail about Felix and now….it was taken away from his hands. 

He didn’t want to accept a fate as cruel as this one and he refused to. 

  
  


The him now that was breathing wasn’t him alive, just an empty shell of a person and the only thing that kept his breath was the hope that Felix was still out there, somewhere, alive and waiting for Sylvain. 

  
  
  
  


_   
_ Sylvain blinked away those memories as his eyes looked at the gate. He did this everyday, staring for hours, hoping that he would see him show up through the gates, in whatever form. 

Healthy, tattered, or injured. Anything. Sylvain would take any form at this point. 

As long as he was alive.   
  
Sylvain placed his other hand on the window and spoke as he held Ingrid’s hand tighter,”He needs to come back….he has to come back. Ingrid…”, Sylvain looked at Ingrid with a painful smile,” I...I have it all planned out. The proposal. I did...No..I do,” Sylvain looked back towards the blue box again.   
  
Ingrid gulped, trying to hold back her own tears as she saw how hard he was trying,”tell me.”

  
  


  
You see...Sylvain. He didn’t wish to accept it. He was stuck in this continuous loop. 

Demanding that people search for Felix, while also insisting that the other had to come back to receive his proposal.

“Hah...i..it was where we first made our promise Ingrid. I had everything setup… he needs to come back because I still...I have to propose..I..I have so many more promises I wanted to make to him..I..”, Sylvain was starting to break, his eyes getting blurry and Ingrid’s face becoming unrecognizable,” He...he wouldn’t break our promise..he..”, Sylvain sniffled and walked over as Ingrid pulled him into a hug, placing his forehead on her shoulder.   
  
“He wouldn’t break our promise….he said so. He wouldn’t. He’s strong. They dont know him l-like I do they dont….they dont know how much-..”, Sylvain choked up as he let a couple tears fall, clenching onto Ingrid,”He’ll come home. He’ll come home,” Sylvain said, trying to be confident about. He tried so hard to convince himself despite how weak and fragile his current emotional state was.   
  
Felix would be strong, so he couldn’t break. 

  
“He would never give up on me. Felix..he..wouldn’t. I know he wouldnt..s..so I can’t. I dont want to..I..”, he let out a couple of more sobs, shoulders shaking and trembling,” its so hard..how did you…”   
  
Ingrid couldn’t hold it back. She let out a tear from her eyes,” I didn’t, Sylvain. I was the same. I know Felix would never give up on you though...you two. You were always stubborn. Shhh, shhhh, I’m here for you, okay? I want him back as much as you do.”   
  
“I think Im going to go look for him myself Ingrid,” Sylvain said as he pulled away and wiped his face.   
  
“There’s no way they can complain then right? Everything has settled down and I cant-”, before Sylvain could finish, Ingrid spoke.   
  
A sad smile came on her face and she placed one hand on Felix’s cheek,” if that is what you must do, then go. Search for him. This place is no good for you right now.”   
  
Sylvain placed his hand over the one on his cheek and spoke,”I wont come back without him.”

  
  
It stung, hearing him say these words, but she didn’t want to be the one to make him face reality. She knew people grieved in their own ways and so did she. She had all those years ago when Glenn died. Maybe a small sliver of hope was there since his body wasn’t found but she was too afraid to speak it out, afraid it might hurt even more when it wasn’t true.    
  
“As stubborn as you are, even if you have to climb your way through heaven or hell Im sure you wont, “ Ingrid said. 

Although her smile was now gone, she made the joke. Knowing Sylvain’s conviction and his love for Felix, it might possibly be true. She knew making a promise that he would come back with or without Felix was something Sylvain would never promise.

So, Ingrid spoke. Made a promise she wouldn’t tell anyone, save Dimitri maybe.   
  
“Then...promise me you wont come back without him?”, Ingrid asked.    
  
Sylvain brought Ingrid into a hug, placing his head on top of hers. 

When he spoke, he spoke with so much confidence that, whether it happened or not, was able to give Ingrid comfort and hope.   
  
“Ingrid...I  **promise** you I wont come back without him,” he said. Ingrid eyes swelled up,”Oh Sylvain….”, she held him back as she started to break down into sobs.

At the end of it all, it was still her childhood bestfriend. She had lost Felix’s brother and now him. 

Ingrid had only been trying her best for Sylvain but she wished so hard, as hard as she could, that if Sylvain did come back, that he would be with Felix and it would be like nothing had ever changed. 

  
  
  


_ All the things I want to promise, let me promise them to you. _

_ All the words left unsaid, let me say them to you. _

_ All the memories not yet bred, let me make them with you. _

_ All these tears I have cried in bed...come back to me.  _

_ Wash these tears away instead of my own hands. _

_ With you, only you Felix. _

_ Please, come back to me.  _


	2. Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, but heres the next chapter !

_You’re out there somewhere, I know it_ _  
  
_

_This time I’ll find you, I won’t blow it_

_  
_ _Your heart still beats, without a doubt_ _  
_ _  
_ _You still need me, I still need you_ _  
_ _  
_ _Show me the way out_ _  
_ _  
  
_

  
  


Sylvain rode on his Pegasus, a dark brown cloak wrapped around him. There were harsh winds and all he could think about was the day he first woke up and realized that Felix was gone.  
  
There was no way that Sylvain wouldn’t look for him, he _did,_ for two weeks. That was all the time they allowed him before they said if Sylvain didn’t settle matters back at home then they would drag him there by force.   
  
Sylvain didn’t yearn for this much responsibility, he never did. The only thing he yearned for the most in his heart was Felix. He didn’t care about which status they had and, in the past, he was almost tempted to swoop Felix away to escape all of this. To escape the power they knew they were going to be given because of their crests and the people they had to be in charge of.   
  
He knew Felix never would though, it was just a small dream. A small dream that they could escape this world already carved out for them and live in some small cottage without interference from everyone.   
  
Two Weeks. Two weeks and nothing. All they could recover was a piece of cloth from Felix’s uniform.

  
  
Sylvain clutched down on the reigns and as he clenched his teeth. In turn, this sent the Pegasus moving just a little bit faster.   
  
They were halfway near the point of where the war was held and Sylvain knew there was no way he could continue forward like this.   
  
Eventually, he found a small village. 

It was the village that had been in the midst of the war and provided them aid during all of it. This may have only been due to the fact that they had the same enemy, but the people showed more kindness than that of a simple deal. Sylvain was happy to see that they had slowly built it back up from the ground again.   
  
He found a tavern with an enclosed stable next to it, figuring this was his best option.   
  
Once he got inside, he took down the hood of his dark brown coat, walking over to the desk.   
  
“Hello, I’m the Margrave Gautier and I’m looking for a place to stay the night,”Sylvain said, not realizing why the old woman at the counter was squinting at him so much. Was it because he looked different than what he said he was? Messy and Disheveled. Perhaps he was barely recognizable...he wouldn’t blame her.   
  
He moved his hands to try to look for something to show her to prove his status but he stopped, looking up at her as she spoke, “M..Margrave ! oh my..is that really you? I havent seen you in months..darling what’s happened..”, the old lady said, placing her hands on Sylvain’s cheeks.   
  
Sylvain stood there as she moved his cheeks up and down in curiosity, then pulling away with a gasp.   
  
“Have they not been taking care of you? Here, come along now, you can have the room for free today after all that you have done for us. First though, we have to get some fat in that bony face of yours, the winds will be at it till tomorrow evening, rest a little,” she said, bringing Sylvain to the dining room.   
  
Sylvain didn’t wish to rest but...there was no stopping it.   
  
  
  
Ten minutes later, he sat down at a table with about three plates in front of him...all his.   
  
He scratched at his beard a little, then looked up at the woman,”um...thank you.”   
  
“Why are you here then? I appreciate your presence but the way your shoulders are so tense it doesnt seem like this is quite your destination,” she said with a small laugh.

  
“Ah...sorry. I’m looking for my friend...he was lost in the war..”, Sylvain said as he started to eat slowly. He was only eating now because he didn’t want to let the lady’s efforts go to waste.   
  
Sylvain realized he might have to explain a bit more, Felix wasn’t much for introducing himself, even now the man would rather be away from the party then in the middle of it. He couldn’t fault the lady for not knowing who he was exactly. When they had a banquet, Felix tried to stay far away from the crowd.   
  
“Long dark blue hair...usually kept in a bun during war. He has a disinterested face most of the time and..well, now...he has a sword scar on the right side of his stomach that never healed properly. H..he means a lot to me,” Sylvain finished off as he realized describing him might not do any good when they barely knew who he was.   
  
“We’ve been searching for nearly three months...I still believe he’s out there. He fell off a cliff to the south of the next village over,” he said. 

  
  


  
The old lady placed her hand under her chin and tapped her index finger on her chin as she thought,”hmm…, recently there has been news the old witch a bit off from the next village has yet again taken in someone. She always does this. Not a mean one, the rumor is just that she waits till they can walk on their own two feet again but people have said they’ve been seeing two figures in her home lately.”   
  
Sylvain just about launched his body over the table as hope erupted up in his body, his eyes wide,”that's all they know then? Just that its two figures?”, he leaned forward again, his voice sounding even more eager,” please ! even if its something small like this all..all I have is hope,” he said, not even realizing that he had placed his hands that were now shaking over the woman.

  
  


The old lady blinked in shock, moving her hands so that they were now on top of Sylvain’s, a soft smile coming on her face,”Settle down now child. I hope this man knows he is very lucky to have you nearly jumping over the table for him. You care about him a lot? Is he the reason for the state you came in?”  
  
Sylvain slowly pulled away,”s...sorry...I…”, he said, holding his hands to himself.   
  
“Worry not my dear, eat first before you pass out. You cant find anyone with skin and bones like yours. Sit right here, I’ll be back with the information,” she said, using the table to help her stand up as she walked away.   
  
  


Even though Sylvain was eating, his heart couldn’t stop beating. He was so nervous because he wanted it to be Felix. Sylvain didn’t understand why they hadn’t uncovered information before?   
  
Although, the old lady did say it was fairly recent. Perhaps this hope wasn’t good for him but Sylvain had nothing to go on during his trip. All he had planned on doing was searching, leaving no stone unturned, and investigating every nook and cranny.   
  
Either way, Sylvain was determined. 

  
  
Sylvain started to eat his food faster as he thought about the possibility of Felix being alive this whole time while someone took care of him.   
  
A minute later though, he found himself choking on his food.   
  


When he looked up, an image of Felix was across the table. He had an annoyed look on his face, hand on his cheek, as he glared at Sylvain and spoke,” Eat your food slowly idiot.”   
  
Then, right after, Sylvain’s comment,” maybe if I choke you can give me m-”   
  
“ _Sylvain.”,_ he would say. The token tone of voice Felix would always take whenever he wanted Sylvain to stop speaking. A voice Sylvain missed so much, even if it wasn’t necessarily words of love, it was still a voice that Sylvain longed for again.   
  
He watched how he ate this time, a small and subtle smile on his face as fond memories flooded his mind. Sylvain couldn’t wait to experience them again. He couldn’t wait to experience everything again with Felix.   
  
He would come back without him. There was no other option _than_ coming back with Felix right by his side.   
  
Sylvain dug into his small pouch to pull out the royal blue velvet box as he opened it.   
  
And maybe a ring on his finger.   
  
  
  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day, Sylvain slept for only a bit. He used the remainder of the time till the wind calmed to try and figure out the quickest route for him to get there. All Sylvain had for now was hope, so he wasn’t going to let any other thoughts flood his head. If it wasn’t true…..he would deal with the aftermath.   
  
He stood up as he started to pack his things,” I’ll be there soon Felix.”   
  
Sylvain packed his things and walked out. He went to the front desk and spoke,” thank you for the piece of information, I’ll be on my way now,” he said.   
  
The lady smiled and spoke,” If you find him come back and show him off, okay?”   
  
Sylvain nodded his head,”I’ll make sure he won’t run away from my side ever again,” he said with a determined face.

  
  


He left the tavern and went over to his Pegasus. Rather, it belonged to him and Felix. They raised her together ever since she was little because they wanted one to call their own. Sylvain always made jokes that he didn’t think they would raise a family this soon. Comments like that either earned the orange-haired man a grunt or glare, but never a verbal disagreement.   
  
Felix _had_ changed just a bit over the years. Sylvain had learned his language ever since he was little and he just now finally perfected it. How could he give that away so easily? Even when others found it so hard to understand the man, Sylvain could translate his actions quite easily.

When it looked like they were in a small lovers spat, Sylvain knew that it was only Felix trying to hide his embarrassment. When Felix said he wanted to sleep without doing anything and turned away from Sylvain, it secretly meant he wanted to be spoiled. 

Sylvain knew everything. He had memorized every line of Felix’s face and body. 

  
  
“How are you doing my sweet girl? You miss him too dont you,” Sylvain closed his eyes as she rubbed her head against Sylvain’s cheeks. 

“Yeah, let’s go find him, okay?”, he said, another small smile on his face. His eyes looked incredibly worn-out, but that didn’t stop them from holding out hope for everything.   
  
Sylvain pulled away and hoisted himself on top of her. He patted the side of her as he grabbed her reigns,” you think you’re good to fly girl? Winds aren't too bad, we can get there in under 30 minutes or so.”   
  
The pegasus neighed and stomped her front heel.   
  
“Alright I’ll lead the way, lets go,” he said, pulling on the reins so she could start walking.   
  
  
  
Within minutes, they took flight in the air, Sylvain adjusting the direction whenever he needed.   
  
He wondered what he would do first if he saw Felix again? The only first option Sylvain could think of was to hug him, cry, and never let go. At least, not for a while.   
  
As much as he wanted to pretend that he had been brave all this time and say some words that would probably make the other break out into a small laugh, Sylvain knew that words might not be able to come out of his mouth, only broken sobs.

  
He would need to hug him. Hug him so tight to make sure that what he was holding wasn’t a dream playing tricks on him. Make sure the same eyes matched those of his lover and that their touch was the same. To see if Felix still called out to Sylvain with the voice he missed so much.

He would have to make sure every touch reaffirmed that Felix was there and _alive._

  
  


Sylvain arrived at the doorstep and gulped as he knocked on the door.

  
  
  
  


_You’ve opened up so many doors for me_

_Let this be the door that leads you to me again_

_I’ve been in the dark for long_

_Let your presence be the light that makes me see_

_Let’s go back home Felix, take my Hand_


	3. Promise Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Felix and Sylvain reunite
> 
> A/N: Thank you for the wait everyone ! I cant tell you how many times I've reread but...I'm going to stop before I start questioning everything again. I hope you enjoy !

_ If you were truly gone, I wouldn’t be able to stand _

_ I know you’re out there,breaking promises isn’t your brand _

_ I’m going to find you I swear _

_ Let me show you my love _

_ I’m going to find you I swear.  _

  
  


Sylvain waited and someone opened the door. It was a small old woman with a hunched back and grey hair.

“Um...hello maam? My name is Sylvain Jose Gautier and-”, Sylvain stopped as the woman lifted a finger up.   
  
“Come in young man,” she said, moving away from the door and walking inside.

Sylvain walked in, looking around the room. He saw a bed that was half-made, a bunch of cloths that were reddened. There were definitely signs that someone injured had been here recently and it wasn’t the women in front of him.   
  
“That’s the name the man who ran off last night kept muttering over and over. I tried to get him to stay but he seemed determined. There was a strong will in his eyes that I couldn’t try and fight despite his injuries...so I let him go,” the woman said, going to take a seat in her rocking chair in a corner. 

“He was unconscious. Found him months ago..didn’t really speak a word till two days ago. He was aching and crying out your name in pain. When he woke up and could walk….all he could focus on, apparently, was getting back to you. No questions...not where he was..who I was...like he couldn’t think about anything till he found you. A strong bond...quite rare these days,” she says as she starts rocking in her chair, moving back and forth her hands on the arm rest. 

Sylvain couldn’t believe his ears, he  _ knew _ without a doubt that it was Felix. He stayed there, frozen in place, looking as the woman continued to speak. It had to be him...It had to.    
  
He felt his knees buckles, falling down to the ground and placing his hands on the floor. His eyes felt watery and he wanted to cry merely out of relief. The fact that he wasn’t some insane person who just kept hanging onto the fact that Felix was alive. The fact that he  _ was  _ alive.    
  
“H...how did he look..?”, Sylvain asked.   
  
Sylvain was right. The moment the lady let out the words navy blue long hair, Sylvain wasn’t able to hear anything more. 

He wanted to cry tears of happiness, but he couldn’t cry now though, he had to suck it in. 

Sylvain moved a hand up to wipe the tear that was about to fall. He got up off the ground and spoke the first words that came to his mind.    
  
“Im sorry I know I just came in here and I appreciate-”, Sylvain walked forward a little, hand to his chest, as he tried to express his gratitude. Yet again, the old woman placed her index finger over her mouth, indicating that he didn’t need to speak anymore.   
  
“You and him have the same eyes. That desperateness and longing,” the woman walked forward and placed her hand on Sylvain’s cheek ,”most importantly,  _ love. _ You two love each other, no? I can sense it. You should get going,” she patted Sylvain’s cheek,” there's a man out there who needs you. I’ll take the thanks for the two of you.”   
  
“Th..thank you. I have to go. I have to go,” Sylvain said, slowly backing out, almost tripping as he did and knocking a vase over the table, which he clumsily caught. He set it back on the table with a nod, then turned around to walk out the door like a normal person.    
  
If he left in the middle of the night yesterday….Sylvain was worried. The winds were quite harsh...and he was injured? Sylvain was so close to having Felix in his grasp again, he didn’t want to give up so easily.    
  
Sylvain ran up to his pegasus and hopped on her. Before he left though, the woman shouted out directions.   
  
“Head northeast ! that’s where I’ve sensed his presence, he’s still there,” he said.    
  
Sylvain turned his head back and nodded. He turned back around as he grabbed the reins, kicking his feet,”Hiyah !”   
  
The pegasus started to run off and Sylvain finally let himself cry. He let his tears run down his face, but they flew off his face because of how fast he was going. 

Sylvain wanted to get to him fast, as soon as he could.

  
  


* * *

Felix was in a cave, laying down as he sat propped up. A hand was placed over his stomach as he tried to calm his breathing. 

His hair was down, messy and unkempt. He was bandaged all the way up to his neck, bandages practically wrapped around his entire body. Surprisingly, Felix’s face was taken care of, but he figured that was the work of the person who took care of him. Felix didn’t have a shirt on, so it was easy to notice the red bleeding through the white. He definitely shouldn’t have run off so soon, but he needed to get back to Sylvain. 

Felix had at least surmised that he had been gone for a while and that, if some old lady had been taking care of him this whole time, he was probably presumed dead or missing.    
  
He remembered his fall….how big it was. It must have been months...there was no way he could recover from a fall so quickly. All he could remember was calling out Sylvain’s name before everything went black.

Rather, he knew he only survived because of her. He would definitely come back to express how grateful he was.    
  
He just wanted to see Sylvain again. Felix worried for how the other was doing without him. 

More so, he worried about Sylvain thinking that Felix had really upped and died without the other by his side. 

All his life, Felix didn’t really care much for his life. Even though he made the promise to Sylvain when they were children, Felix knew he was going to fight in wars and that such a promise would be futile in the grand schemes of things. Felix had never really  _ wanted _ to live until Sylvain started to get even closer to him. 

He never saw the future until Sylvain made him see it. A future where the two of them were alive and happy, wherever life led them. Felix wanted to live for a future where Sylvain would kiss him tenderly in bed, tell him how much he loved Felix. A future where he could be soft with Sylvain when the other would least expect it and it would place a happy smile on his face. He wanted to live for a future where he could fight side by side with Sylvain, the perfect combination.

Felix had never loved someone this much to the point where they couldn’t see a life where they existed and Sylvain wasn’t there.

Felix wanted to  _ live  _ for a future with him. So much to the point he would risk getting more injuries to get back to him as fast as possible. He promised Sylvain that if he died then it wouldn’t be without him.    
  
Granted, he had help, but Felix would like to think that his will played some part in keeping him alive. He would never forgive himself, even in the after life, if he died without Sylvain. 

Rather, Sylvain  _ was  _ his home. He wanted to get back to the place where he felt the most comfortable and safe. That place was in Sylvain’s arms or anywhere he was.    
  
Felix couldn’t rest right now. If he still had this much energy to think about Sylvain, then he could have enough energy to get up and walk further to go and meet him.   
  
“A..argh..”, Felix pressed his fist into the ground, clenching his teeth as he stood up, while his other hand wrapped around his stomach.

Once he was finally on his feet, Felix started wobbling out of the cave. The light of the sun had hit his eye and he squinted. However, once he opened them, something quickly flew right by him. 

It was fast but there was absolutely no mistaking the flash of orange hair that had appeared and disappeared right in front of him. His heart stopped as he saw the person on the horse come to a halt.   
  
“Syl...Sylvain..”, he said, slowly and hesitantly. It was as if time stopped and slowed as he watched the other man get off of the horse. Felix didn’t know if this was one of his delusions, but everything was made clear when he saw the familiar face dashing towards him and he was pulled into a hug. A hug so tight that a pinch on the cheek wasn’t needed because, without a doubt, this wasn’t a dream. 

The hug was so warm that Felix couldn’t stop his tears. Yes Felix’s body ached, he was sore, and the hug didn’t help his wounds, but nothing mattered now that he was here in Sylvain’s arms. He wrapped his arms around Sylvain, clutching onto the fabric of his shirt just as tight as the other was hugging him and burying his face into the other’s neck.    
  
“I..I’m here..I..m I-Im here..”, was all Felix could say in a choked-up voice as he let the tears fall down his face.   
  
  
Sylvain felt his dam burst again as he heard those words. All the water poured out from his eyes as he tried to speak,”I knew it...I..alive..youre alive…”, Sylvain said. He stayed like that for another minute until Sylvain pulled away, not even bothering to wipe the tears on his face.   
  
Sylvain smiled as he pressed a hand against Felix’s cheek, hesitantly, only because he was still afraid that this was all going to be a dream. He wiped away Felix’s tear on the right side of his cheek, looking into his eyes. 

This was definitely his Felix, no doubt about it. He just wanted to take it all in. Sylvain’s other hand went to his cheek, wiping away his lover’s tears softly while his fingertips ran over his face to make sure he was there in the flesh.

” I knew you would never break our promise…”, Sylvain finally said.    
  
Felix did the exact same, placing his hand on Sylvain’s cheeks, wiping his tears. He still had a smile on his face as he spoke and connected their foreheads together,” After you made me promise you 100 times...my body could never forget. I could never forget. I would never..not without you..”, he said. Felix couldn’t hold himself back anymore. He needed to confirm more that this was real, so he pulled his face closer to Sylvain and pressed their lips together. 

  
  


Syvlain gladly accepted the kiss, his hands resting gently on Felix’s cheek as he closed his eyes and tried to take in the feeling. As they kissed again, Sylvain felt so elated that he could cry.

Sylvain was trying to pour everything into this kiss. How much Sylvain had yearned for Felix’s touch again and how much he missed him. He wanted to embed all of his feelings into his kisses and made it as passionate as he possibly could without tongue. 

Felix felt just as happy. He was beginning to run a little bit out of breath, backing up into the cave.   
  
“ha..ha..Sylvain..how..man-mmm”, Felix closed his eyes again as he wrapped his hands around Sylvain’s neck, unable to speak with how fervently Sylvain kept kissing him. How long was the other planning to keep this up? Not that Felix minded though, Sylvain’s kisses were more than addicting at this point. Sylvain’s love was his favorite drug and he had been deprived of it so long that, right now in this moment, he didn’t care if he had too much of it.    
  
“100..Felix..we’re at 30..”, Sylvain said, giving them a quick break, brushing his lips over Felix with his eyes still closed. “I love you...Felix. I love you so much..”, Sylvain breathed out against Felix’s lips as he looked him in the eyes.    
  
Before Felix could respond, Sylvain already kissed him again. Felix closed his eyes again as his hands bunched up the fabric of Sylvain’s shirt. He felt himself growing weak from the kisses even though there wasn’t any tongue involved. Despite that, they were still absolutely intoxicating and Felix did find himself wanting more.   
  


Sylvain pulled away just a bit and Felix spoke,” Syl..hah..”, Felix closed his mouth for a bit to catch his breath and spoke,” I love you too...Sylvain..”, Felix looked him in the eyes, feeling himself about to break again as Sylvain looked at him with those loving eyes of his and the smile he knew was only ever directed towards Felix.   
  
His light was so bright….even brighter than the sun that had hit Felix’s face when he walked out of the cave.  _ Warmer _ , even. 

“50...Felix..”, Sylvain said and, this time, Felix initiated it. He moved his hands from around Sylvain’s back and went to the front of his chest, pulling Sylvain close and smashing their lips together again.    
  
Felix completely gave in and he felt himself slipping. Sylvain wrapped an arm around Felix and Felix’s knees started to give in. He slowly started to slide down and when he got closer to the ground, Felix pushed his palms against Sylvain’s chest. The other seemed to catch the hint and Sylvain fell back onto the grass while Felix was on top of him.   
  
It was only then that Sylvain realized the bandages. He placed a hand on Felix’s stomach,”  _ Fe _ ...you’re injured-”, Sylvain stopped as Felix pressed his index finger against his mouth.   
  
“75..Sylvain..lets make these last ones count…”, Felix said, going down.   
  
Sylvain nodded. How was he going to say no to Felix on top of him like that. Sylvain placed a hand behind Felix’s head and brought him down into another kiss. This time, however, Sylvain opened his mouth. He didn’t really care if someone walked by, he would take in as much as he wanted until he felt satisfied. 

Felix moaned into Sylvain’s mouth as their tongues intertwined. Each time their lips moved was a counter to the kisses because both of them didn’t want to pull away from each other.    
  
81…..Sylvain would make sure that he would never leave Felix’s side again.

84...Felix would also make sure that a head of orange hair was always within his eyesight.

87...Sylvain now turned the tables. He got on top of Felix, laying their hands flat against each other before he intertwined them. Sylvain would promise that he would never take Felix for granted.   
  
Not that he ever did, but he would cherish every single moment.    
  
90….Felix tightened their connected fingers and he moaned. Felix promised that he would make sure to show Sylvain so much love after this. All the days he knew Sylvain had probably suffered without Felix by his side.   
  
93….Sylvain couldn’t help but let a tear fall down his cheek. His heart was about to burst at how happy he felt, smiling into the kiss.    
  
95...Felix tried to open his eyes and was surprised when he was met with Sylvain’s eyes as well.   
  
He felt...embarrassed, to say the least, but he didn’t close his eyes. Instead, their eyes stayed focused on each other because, in this moment, they were the only two people in the world.    
  
97...Their kisses turned back to soft ones and he made these last. He moved their lips together slowly, his eyes saying words even though their mouths were connected. Kissing him so slow and tenderly as if he wanted to savor every taste and touch from it like it was his last.    
  
98...He loved Felix more than anything in this world. Sylvain wanted to marry and tie their bonds together forever. Even without a ring, Felix would always be his forever, but Sylvain wanted the whole world to know that Felix was his and claim him.    
  
99…..Felix knew that Sylvain was the only one and that he had always been the only one for Felix, even when the other wasn’t aware of it.    
  
  
Sylvain pulled away and placed a hand on Felix’s cheek, a soft smile on his face,” Felix...I want a future with us...and want us to make more promises together. I love you….”, he said.   
  
Felix smiled back at Sylvain. His smile was too contagious. 

“I love you just as much Sylvain…my head is full of you. There is nothing else I’d rather it be full of,” Felix finished off.   
  
100.

Sylvain leaned in and placed a kiss on his lips. He definitely wanted to make sure this one had meaning. There was force in the kiss, but he still moved their lips together slowly. 

Once Felix pulled away, Sylvain spoke,”Felix...I need to ask you something important.”

  
  


_ With this ring I'll promise you _

_ I'll love just you, through and through _

_ You are mine and mine forever _

_ There will be nothing that can sever our love _

**Author's Note:**

> You can follow me @samaichii on twt ! Thank you for reading~


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